I am single. I plan on staying single for a while because I’m 21 turning 22 so why the hell not. I feel like this is the time where I get to just be me and I’m not apart of an us or we. I don’t have a problem being single but every time I tell people I get pretty interesting responses. People seem to be so surprised that a girl chooses to be single. I’ve told a friend of mine that I planned on staying single and he replied with a quick but firm “mm hmm” as if I were lying. What reason would I have to lie. This friend of mine is very much single, and so are most of his friends. Yet it seemed to be strange, that me, a girl was also happy being single.
Anyone who knows me, knows I love third wheeling. It’s a nice way to see your friend with their significant other in natural settings and it’s just a nice way to have a fun time with your friend who doesn’t have to worry about splitting time between the important people in their life. With that being said my best friend has occasionally let me tag along with her and her boyfriend. I never thought much about it, but I guess it caught the eye of her boyfriend’s roommate, who thought it was weird how I seemed to be in content with the situation. One day he asked if I was honestly OK with being the third wheel. I replied “yeah, I love it.” I guess he still didn’t believe me because his next six words were something I was no stranger to, he proceeded to tell me “we need to find you someone.” All I could think was “didn’t I just tell you I was happy.” I couldn’t understand why everyone was having such a hard time believing that a girl in her twenties could actually be happy being single.
This guy I barely knew, felt sorry for me and I won’t lie in that moment I started to actually feel sorry for myself. But I was so confused at why. Here’s this guy who I barely knew telling me he’s going to help me find someone. I guess you can say he’s a stranger and doesn’t know me that well but I’ve also had a close friend do the same thing. Last summer, my friend and I were talking about boys and she stated that she wanted to date someone and that she’ll help me find someone as well. I told her I was going to stay single for the summer and take the time to discover myself. And I swear to you her response was “OK, but we still need to find you someone.” I found it hard to believe that I just stated I was going to take the time to discover myself and be alone, yet she still felt like I needed a man in my life, to what…complete me? I should at least get praised, for trying to discover who I am, not to be distracted by being in a relationship.
I just find it so strange that there are men who are single till their 30 and no one is taking much of a second look. Men are actually praised for staying single as long as they can. Watch a movie where a man is getting married and I bet you that at least one of his friends is going to try and tell him that it’s a mistake. The catch with being a single man in today’s society is that they seem to only be praised if they’re parading women around. We are never really praising people for trying to take the time discover who they are. As a society we really need to rethink how we look at life as a single person.
We are letting girls measure their worth based on their marital status. When we tell girls that they should be in a relationship, we are telling them to feel sorry for themselves if they are not. We say things like “you’re too pretty to be single” as if women have to have something wrong with them if they are not currently in a relationship. Those moments when they are alone, some women are too busy looking for the next guy that they are forgetting how precious this time is in their life. And I’m not judging anyone who is waiting for their prince charming, pretty soon I may be looking for him too. I’m just saying stop judging women like me who would rather not be tied down. Are there moments where I wish I was in a relationship, yeah there are. I won’t lie about it, I loved being in a relationship but personally I have my whole life to be in a relationship. Right now, I’m free to be me. I get to make decisions based solely on my wants and needs and don’t have to worry about anyone else and I love the beauty of that. I’ve never been so in tuned with myself and for now I’m going to hold on to that as long as I can. So if you are single, be single, use it wisely. Do something for yourself, discover a new hobby, take a new class and just enjoy it.